Rabid Lemmings The Musical – Rural Tompkins County

“All Roads Lead to Cornithaca” – “Rabid Lemmings: The Musical – I’ve Got A Sheriff”

I’ve Got A Sheriff

(To the tune of I Shot The Sheriff by Bob Marley and the Wailers)

I’ve got a sheriff, but I could not spot a deputy
I’ve got a sheriff, but I could not spot a deputy

All around my rural town
They’re driving up and down
They say they want to bring in the guilty
But there’s no sign of a deputy
There’s no help from the deputies
But I say

I’ve got a sheriff, but I must rely on self-defense
I’ve got a sheriff, but he never helps no matter the offense

The County always hated us
For what I don’t know
Every time that they do us down
They say, “If you don’t like it; why don’t you go”
They say, “If you don’t like it; why don’t you go”
I say

I’ve got a sheriff, but I had to buy a chain-link fence
I’ve got a sheriff, but I must rely on my own defense

Money came my way one day
And I started out of town
All of a sudden I see the Tax Assessor
Aiming to do me down
So I shot, I shot him down
I say

I shot the tax man, and I finally see a deputy
I shot the tax man, and I finally saw a deputy

Reflexes got the better of me
And maybe that’s as it should be
Every day those fuckers go to the well
But one day the bottom will drop out
Yes, one day the bottom will drop out
But I say

I shot the tax man, now they’re suiting up the deputies
I shot the tax man, now they’re shooting up what’s left of me

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A seventh song for “Rabid Lemmings: The Musical” – I say “God Damn the Tax Assessor Man.”

“All Roads Lead to Cornithaca” – “Rabid Lemmings: The Musical – I’m Not You Under My Skin”

I’m Not You Under My Skin
(To the tune of I’ve Got You Under My Skin by Cole Porter)

I’m not you; under my skin.
I’m not you; deep in the heart of me.
So, deep in my heart; you’re not really a part of me.
I’m not you; under my skin.
You’ve tried so hard to get in.
You’ve warned me again: that my resistance won’t go so well.
But I have to try to resist when, truly, I know so well
I’m not you; under my skin.

You’d sacrifice anyone come what might
For the Doctrine you hold so dear
In spite of your warnings and texts in the night
And the malice you pour in my ear:
“Don’t be played like a fool, you never can win
Wake up to reality, there’s no more morality”
But when I think it through; just the thought of you
Makes me stop before I begin
‘Cause I’m not you; under my skin.

(Musical interlude)

You would sacrifice anyone come what might
For the Doctrine you hold so dear
In spite of all your warnings and texts in the night
And the malice you pour in my ear:
“Don’t be played like a fool, you never can win
Better wake to reality – wake up, there’s no more morality”
But when I think it through; just the thought of you
Makes me stop before I begin
‘Cause I’m not you; under my skin.
Yes, I’m not you; under my skin.

A sixth song for “Rabid Lemmings: The Musical” – A sophisticated tune for grace under pressure: and there’s a lot of pressure these days.

“All Roads Lead to Cornithaca” – “Rabid Lemmings: The Musical – trickalittle”

trickalittle – the “Conforming Song”
(To the tune of pickalittle from The Music Man)

Trick a little, talk a little, trick a little, talk a little,
Creep creep creep, talk a lot, trick a little more

State and County:
Trick a little, talk a little, trick a little,
Talk a little, creep creep creep, talk a lot, trick a little more

Federal, State, County, Media, Children:
Trick a little, talk a little, trick a little,
Talk a little, creep creep creep, talk a lot, trick a little more

Media:
Citizens, some kinds of people don’t belong in our society.
Of course, I shouldn’t tell you this but they are promoting dangerous thinking.

Citizens:
Dangerous thinking!

State:
Unchecked

County:
Non-conforming

Federal:
Questioning!

Media:
And the worst thing
Of course, I shouldn’t tell you this but-

State:
I’ll tell.

County:
This happened in my county, let me tell.

Federal:
Stop! I’ll tell.
They made brazen overtures to citizens who never
Had an unplanned thought in their heads until they came here.

State:
Oh, yes
Those people made brazen overtures
With a guilt-free guarantee
They had a golden rule glint in the eye
And a silver voice with a counterfeit ring

Just melt them down and you’ll reveal
A lump of lies as cold as steel
Here, where a citizen’s Doctrine should be!

Federal, State, County, Media, Children:
They left the county with Our Citizen’s curses
But they left unsafe thoughts behind

State and Children:
Unchecked

County and Children:
Non-conforming

Federal and Children:
Questioning!

Federal, State, County, Media, Children:
Trick a little, talk a little, trick a little, talk a little,
Creep creep creep, talk a lot, trick a little more
Trick a little, talk a little, trick a little, talk a little,
Creep creep creep, talk a lot, trick a little more
Trick a little, talk a little, trick a little, talk a little,
Creep creep creep creep creep creep creep creep
Creep creep creep creep creep creep creep creep
Creep creep creep creep creep creep creep creep
Trick a little, talk a little, leap!

A fifth song for “Rabid Lemmings: The Musical” — The doctrine of the schoolroom in one generation will be the doctrine of government in the next.

“All Roads Lead to Cornithaca” – “Rabid Lemmings: The Musical – The Sadder but Wiser World”

The Sadder but Wiser World
(To the tune of The Sadder but Wiser Girl from The Music Man)

[Spoken]
No wide-eyed, eager, wholesome, innocent
Sunday-school pathway for me
That kinda life has loads no donkey ever. . . now, listen fool. . .
A world that trades on ethical purity
Merely wants to trade the goods of the game for dull obscurity

[Sung]
The only greater good that makes me smile
Are goodly sums that swell my pile
No golden, glorious, gleaming pristine goodness, no sir!
For no Blind Justice do I play pawn, I can tell you that right now

I mock, I hiss, how can goodliness be compared to this?
I spark, I fizz for the dealer who knows what time it is
I cheer, I rave for the piece of the pie my good friends gave
The sadder but wiser world for me

No bright-eyed, blushing, by the book behavior, no sir!
That kinda practice ties knots no sailor ever knew
I prefer to take a chance on a more productive dance
No conscience around to keep resisting
Empiricism keeps insisting

No wide-eyed, wholesome, innocent notions, no sir!
Why, that’s the sophistry, I’m the sap, you see? Snap!
I flinch, I shy when I meet a soul that I can’t buy
I smile, I grin when I lead their virtue into sin
I hope, I pray to enjoy my pleasures for one more day
The sadder but wiser world’s the world for me
The sadder but wiser world for me

A fourth song for “Rabid Lemmings: The Musical” — the story will go wherever the music and lyrics lead me.

“All Roads Lead to Cornithaca” – “Rabid Lemmings: The Musical – Seventy-six New Laws”

Seventy-six New Laws
(To the tune of Seventy-six Trombones from The Music Man)

Seventy-six new laws led the big parade
With a hundred and ten mandates close at hand
They were followed by rows and rows of the finest media pros,
The cream of toadies in the land.
Seventy-six new laws served bureaucracies
With a hundred and ten memos right behind
There were more than a thousand “needs”
Soaking up proceeds
There were scams of ev’ry shape and kind
There were bought-and-paid-for Senators and House poltroons
Blundering, plundering all along the way
Dumbbell dead end policies of big buffoons,
Each buffoon having their big, fat say!
There were fifty fat cat Liberals lapping flattery
Blundering, plundering prouder than before
Murderers they eulogize
On meds of ev’ry shape and size
Are let out so they can kill some more!
Seventy-six new laws made their altar cloth
And a hundred and ten safeguards died away
To the Doctrine they march, march, march!
Through the Great Dictator’s Arch
And they’re marching to your door today.

A third song for “Rabid Lemmings: The Musical” — I was inspired by changing the oil — if only we could change our leaders that easily.

“All Roads Lead to Cornithaca” – “Rabid Lemmings: The Musical – I’ll Borrow”

I’ll Borrow
(To the tune of Tomorrow from Annie)

I’ll pay it all back
Tomorrow
Bet your bottom dollar
That tomorrow
You’ll be paid!

Just wait until
Tomorrow
I’ll clear up all my debts,
All I borrowed
‘Til there’s none!

When I’m stuck and can’t pay
Today,
If only
That lie wasn’t thin
I Grin,
And Say,
Oh

I’ll pay it all back
Tomorrow
So ya havta hang on
‘Til tomorrow
Come what may

I’ll borrow!
I’ll borrow!
And pay back
Tomorrow!

It’s always a day away

When I’m stuck and can’t pay
Today,
If only
That lie wasn’t thin
I Grin,
And Say,
Oh

Tomorrow!
Tomorrow!
I’ll pay you
Tomorrow!

It’s always
A day
A way