Tag: manure runoff

An Uncensored Look at Today’s Farming Practices

Blog Special: A first look at the cartoon picture book by Doug Baird – the captions.

1. You know you live near a Factory Farm, when your bug-zapper sounds like a popcorn machine
2. You know you live near a Factory Farm, when everyone you know is getting cancer.
3. You know you live near a Factory Farm, when the cows are fed on chicken poop and sawdust.
4. You know you live near a Factory Farm, when they buy more antibiotics than a hospital.
5. You know you live near a Factory Farm, when a part of the Dead Zone is named after them.
6. You know you live near a Factory Farm, when their business model is a sweatshop.
7. You know you live near a Factory Farm, when “manure spreading” means it’s spilled into the river again.
8. You know you live near a Factory Farm, when USDA Certified means “you stupid, dumb assholes.”
9. You know you live near a Factory Farm, when the Real Estate Disclosure Form is redacted.
10. You know you live near a Factory Farm, when the government inspectors have to make an appointment to visit.
11. You know you live near a Factory Farm, when the morning mist is herbicide.
12. You know you live near a Factory Farm, when you’re always being told how important they are.
13. You know you live near a Factory Farm, when the lake has more warning signs than tourists.
14. You know you live near a Factory Farm, when your Bed and Breakfast is shut and closed.
15. You know you live near a Factory Farm, when their biggest supporters live somewhere else.
16. You know you live near a Factory Farm, when the farmers and the regulators are the same people.
17. You know you live near a Factory Farm, when the public is educated to accept the pollution, rather than stop it.
18. You know you live near a Factory Farm, when it’s a crime to film inside their sheds.
19. You know you live near a Factory Farm, when the DEC makes excuses for them.
20. You know you live near a Factory Farm, when your taxes subsidize their workers, and their workers send it out of the country.
21. You know you live near a Factory Farm, when their image is Old MacDonald, and their attitude is Stalin.
22. You know you live near a Factory Farm, when it keeps getting bigger, while your community gets smaller.
23. You know you live near a Factory Farm, when the hills are brown and the lakes are green.
24. You know you live near a Factory Farm, when you have to pressure-wash your cat.
25. You know you live near a Factory Farm, when your viewscape is turkey vultures circling the offal bins.
26. You know you live near a Factory Farm, when the gases you breathe would get a toxic waste dump shut down.
27. You know you live near a Factory Farm, when manure comes out of the tap.
28. You know you live near a Factory Farm, when your dog has asthma.
29. You know you live near a Factory Farm, when blowflies are at the top of the food chain.
30. You know you live near a Factory Farm, when you have to check the wind direction before you open a window.
31. You know you live near a Factory Farm, when all the want ads are placed in another country.
32. You know you live near a Factory Farm, when your Representative won’t look you in the eye.
33. You know you live near a Factory Farm, when a $5 million agribusiness needs a $10 million subsidy.
34. You know you live near a Factory Farm, when your grandparents have to tell the kids what nature used to be like.
35. You know you live near a Factory Farm, when the pitter-patter on your roof isn’t rain.
36. You know you live near a Factory Farm, when you have to wash your clothes after they come off the line.
37. You know you live near a Factory Farm, when you pay more taxes for your trailer than they do for their farm.
38. You know you live near a Factory Farm, when you only drink organic milk, water, bottled water.
39. You know you live near a Factory Farm, when the snow-melt is brown.
40. You know you live near a Factory Farm, when politicians pretend not to believe what they know to be true.
41. You know you live near a Factory Farm, when their “hold harmless” argument is the Nuremburg Defense.
42. You know you live near a Factory Farm, when relative wealth equals relative worth.
43. You know you live near a Factory Farm, when a million gallon spill gets a $500 fine, and they consider it excessive.
44. You know you live near a Factory Farm, when everything they do is legal because they write the laws.
45. You know you live near a Factory Farm, when the fields have no animals, and the sheds have no windows.
46. You know you live near a Factory Farm, when your brother is sick from a bacteria no one’s ever seen before.
47. You know you live near a Factory Farm, when the county authorities won’t return your calls.
48. You know you live near a Factory Farm, when your kids go fishing with a pool skimmer.
49. You know you live near a Factory Farm, when it’s no laughing matter.
50. You know you live near a Factory Farm, when politicians won’t kiss your blue baby.

The End