May 2020 – Rural Tompkins County

“Cornithaca County” Book Preview – “The Helpful Bureaucrat Puzzle”

Which is the helpful bureaucrat? This puzzle contains a simple solution to a question that is often difficult and frustrating in everyday life.

Bureaucracy is a labyrinth that only grows over time. Without help; you can toil around a great circle of government employees [many of whom are out of the office, on vacation, or seemingly unreachable] to arrive back at the same desk you started at . . . and be sent on another journey.

In Cornithaca’s Kafkaesque environment; “Finding the Helpful Bureaucrat” is a puzzle that may have no solution.

“Cornithaca County” Book Preview – “Write Your Own Story” Coloring Page

One of the best ways to avoid indoctrination is through creative and imaginative thinking. The stasis imposed by Cornithaca County’s doctrine, which allows only one “correct” answer to any question; is shattered by independent thought.

The figurative elements in the coloring page can be used to create a story. I won’t impose the “doctrine” of saying the writer must use all of the elements; or even “as many as possible.” You could write any number of stories and use only one, or none.

Creative work is not an exercise — it’s a necessary and rewarding part of being a human being.

“Cornithaca County” Book Preview – “The ‘Ize’ Have It”

In an overwhelmingly partisan government: there is no need to compromise. It’s the perfect viewing conditions to see the future unfolding. Cornithaca County’s doctrine cleared landscape shows, not only the shape of our future; but the tools that are being used to shape it.

“Cornithaca County” Book Preview – “Burn Barrel Cremations”

Easier than a pig roast and better than a backyard family barbecue — Burn Barrel Cremations are sweeping the rural sweepings of Cornithaca County! As one local flyer announced “We bring in the trailer; and it’s ash without failure.” Some vendor’s ovens are even sporting accessory racks; for that big grill-up send off.

For the ultimate in “green” disposals: recycle their ashes as burn barrel insulation!

“Cornithaca County” Book Preview – “Cornithaca Fortune Teller”

This activity is essentially a color version of the “Misfortune Teller” in my Family Farm Fun book. My intention to revise the theme with “meaningful participation,” “transparency in government,” and similar legislative conundrums was less impactful than the reality of the rural original.

I remember these origami “fortune tellers” as a child; along with a freedom and community togetherness that today’s authorities pretend never existed. Everything is Doctrine: including everything your children are being taught. Home Schooling is the undoing of conformity and central authority.

“Cornithaca County” Book Preview – “ATV Hazards”

Most ATV accidents come, not from dangerous situations; but from a refusal to realize the danger of the situation. The journey from “outlaw” to “out of luck” takes only a second: it’s as easy as falling off a log — or running into one.

In Cornithaca County’s Ag Ghetto; ATVs offer an alternative method of destruction to meth and bath salts. And as some of the parents drive around with small children in their laps or clinging to their waist; it’s a family moment as well.

“Cornithaca County” Book Preview – “By Their Deeds”

Nothing sets the “Cornithacan” attitude apart more than their lack of empathy for others. The local Socialist party took to the College Town streets; urging the release of criminals to protect against COVID-19 in prisons; while being quietly unconcerned with the mounting death toll in a nursing home only a few miles away.

Give them a question of Doctrine, and they can parse righteousness to a screaming frenzy: but any question of compassion or human dignity is beside the point.

This is the present state of Cornithaca County — and the future everywhere?

“Cornithaca County” Book Preview – Left in Park – “The Old Days are Passing”

In this new episode of the Cornithaca County television spin-off; It’s an “Ill windfall that does no good” as the usual users find more ways to profit from the Pandemic.

They’ll be singing “Out with the Old and in with the Cash” when “stimulus” checks take on a new meaning and bureaucrats wax fat on wholesale inheritance taxes.

“Cornithaca County” Book Preview – Bigotry: The Musical – “People Who Use People”

This song (a satirical adaptation of the Song “People” from Funny Girl) is another of the pieces intended for “Bigotry: The Musical”. Although the musical will be in keeping with the Cornithaca County theme; I thought it would be more fun to write the music first, and worry about the plot later.

The ads in the Paybill will include sponsors like “Whole Human Replacement Parts” and “Do•Doctrine Nail Art,” as well as “Early Autumn” Organ Harvesting and other public service messages that will tie into body of the book.

The use of previously created and realized concepts as a leitmotif is a practical time-saver in the project; as well as adding coherence to the book as a whole.

“Cornithaca County” Book Preview – New Word: “Ideafication”

So many words are being redefined: deliberately using expectations of the traditional meaning to hide a very different action. Independently thinking people need to create new words that better describe these actions, and shed a revealing light on this persuasive perfidy.

Cornithaca County’s “One thought, One taught, One voice, One choice” totalitarian government makes frequent use of “ideafication” for control and as a calming measure.